Oh, Mommy...I love you....

26 April 2004 || 6:44 pm

I really miss my mom. I can't believe I wrote this one year before she died. If I'd had known then that she'd be dead a year from then...God, I just don't know...

I wish I could go back and take back all the terrible things I said. I can't remember the sound of her laugh. Not even a year later, and I can't remember the sound of her laugh. My birthday is in 11 days and it'll be the first without her, then Mothers' Day is two days after that, which means the whole fucking weekend will be a reminder that my mother is dead.

Sometimes I forget that I don't have a mother. I forget the hell we all went through. And then I have to hear JB complain about how her father died before she ever had a chance to know him, and I'm supposed to pity her? With the pure HELL my mother went through? Wanting to die is one thing, being forced into it by cancer is completely different.

I just miss her so much. I just wish so badly I could be with her just one more time. Even if only to hear her laugh.

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