**I WANNA BE A PRODUCERRRRRRRR**

26 October, 2001 || 9:13 p.m.

I spent a lovely evening at the library. Alex an I were *supposed* to be decorating the Conference Room for a "Captain Underpants Halloween Party" that will be on Sunday. We did not get much accomplished. We did, however, make to rather starteling conclusions. The first is that if you take three sayings that have to do with Captain Underpants and combine the letters you get "wow! it's osama bin ladn." The other conclusion is that if you stand on your sholders for a long time (you know - where you lie on your back and lift your legs strait in the air by supporting your butt with your arms?) If you do that long enough, your ribcage will crush into your throat, causing you to suffacate.

Alex and I (well, Alex) came up with a quote I find rather funny. You may find it Unbelieveably Boring, but I don't. The quote is "Sometimes life is great. Other times it sucks like a fat ugly whore." WA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!

I have to go to Margeaux's Bat Mitzvah tomorrow morning. A funny thing happened today with Margeaux. She has this pen that she chews on, like, NONSTOP and it is MOST annoying because she sits next to me in math, and although Mrs. Mathteacher is REALLY REALLY boring, even listening to her is better than listing to Margeaux gnaw on that stupid pen. I swear to Gosh, if Margeaux were an animal, she'd be a beaver and her frickin pen would be a hunk of wood. She simply GNAWS on it. Not even a quiet gnaw, but a loud gnawing gnaw. I'm getting carried away.

Back to what happened today. Margeauz was sitting in French during the test, gnawing on her pen, as usual, when all of the suddend she chomps down and gets a mouthful of black ink. I heard she took a piece of paper from her bookbag and spit into it. Then she ran from the room and started spitting up black into the water fountain. It serves her right.

Hmmmmm. Let's see. What else happened today? Oh yes, two songs were stuch in my head all day. One was the song on the Old El Paso comertial. You know the one I mean. It starts out "One pound of hamburger sits in my fridge..." Well, Eileen, Joy, and I made up new lyrics to the end of the song. Inst ead of "The box is a kit, the kit is a hit..." we say "The box is a kit, the kit tastes like shit..." It's pretty funny.

The other song I've had stuck in my head is the *one line* I know from the song from "The Producers." In case you have been living someplace other than the Planet Earth for the past year and a half, and you DON'T KNOW what "The Producers" is, I will tell you. "The Producers' is *the* hardest to get in to show on Broadway. It is booked up untill, like, next summer (at least). It is the new Mel Brooks musical and stars Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderik, who are VERY FUNNY. I have been singing "I wanna be a producerrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!" ALL DAY LONG.

And now, I must say adieu! For it is time for me to go shower, as I must get up in time to find an appropriet box for Margeaux's gift and wrap it. As it is quarter to 10, and I have to get up at 8 o' clock tomorrow morning, I will be very tired. Adieu, adieu!

*i wanna be a producerrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!*

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