My lack of life is starting to depress me...

29 October, 2002 || 8:01 pm

And here I am, updating, again. Why do I have no life? Does it not strike you all as odd that we are programed to do certain things, go to school, do homework, (for me) go to viola lessons and rehearsals and practice my viola. All these things I hate doing, and why? Because I'm supposed to. Because doing them will get me into a good college, get me a good job, make me successful. And what if I'm not happy, then? Would that have made my entire youth a waste of time? Can't someone be just as happy being a mailman, or a hair dresser, or a waitress, as a doctor, lawyer, teacher? Sigh - I guess I just feel like I'm throwing my life away on what I've been told every day of my life will make me happy. And what if I'm not? I don't want to be like most of the adults in this world. I don't want to always bitch about my life, nonstop. I'm sick of trying always to be what they want me to be, just because I don't know what I want.

Just fuck it all.

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