Jokes on a bus

13 May, 2002 || 11:14 am

Yes, yes...hello, all. I have returned from Annapolis.

The orchestra totally sucked (as usual) but everybody else did really well. I had two doctor appointments this morning and an art show thing this afternoon, so for now I'm just playin' hookey. And then tomorrow I am having a skin graft so no school then, either.

My mom said she would paint my toenails today, so I am happy, as the toenail on my left foot is half black from the dried blood. Yum.

So Friday night on the bus Ben, Kyle, sometimes Kelsey, and I were telling jokes and it was a shitload of fun.

-Why did no one hear Helen Keller when she fell down the well?
--She was wearing mittens.

-What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a '56 Chevy?
--I don't have a '56 Chevy sitting in my garage.

-A man walks into a whore house and requests a whore. He's brought back to a naked woman who is chained to a bed. He does his business and as he is getting dressed he notices the white stuff seeping from the whore's body. He then runs, completely naked, into the whorehouse lobby and explains the problem. The guy working in the lobby shouts back, "Hey, Freddy! The dead one's full again!"

-What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
--a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom.
-What's worse than that?
--It tries to eat it's way out.
-What's worse than that?
--It actually does eat it's way out.
-What's worse than that?
--It goes back for seconds.

-Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suiside?
--You would too if your name was "eeeerrrerrrrrrriiichhhhhh!"

-"Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to go to Europe!"
--"Shut up and keep swimming."

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