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04 December, 2001 || 1:35 a.m.

Free The Elves from Santa's slave labor!!! Join E. L. F. (Elf Liberation Foundation)!!

These poor Elves have been forced into their jobs, signing a contract that they could not read as they were drugged on milk and cookies. The female elves (what few of them there are) are degraded by their employer daily. These girls are called "ho" frequently, especially when in groups of three. The men are forced to clean up after Roudolph's drinking binges (and you always wondered what the bright red nose was all about...)

The Elves have finally formed a union. Though they have no pay, no benefits, forced lobor, almost no vacation time whatso ever, *and* they have to clean up reindeer crap, E.L.F. is working to improve conditions for these Elves. The elves have put together a sort of "anthem" which I will repeat below in toto.

"Ho Ho (bleepin) Ho

What a crock of S#&T!

We all work for Santa Claus

We've had enough

We quit!

We do all the (bleepidy) work

While *he* stars in the show.

Stick your Christmas up your A$$

Ho Ho (bleepin) Ho!"

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