remind me never to get old

28 November, 2002 || 3:32 pm

Oh, God...

Does she never shut up?

Yes, folks, that's right...my grandmother has arrived. She is currently sitting on the couch in the other room, eating veggies and dip and talking (of course), but she's going the two things at the same time. She's talking my grandfather's ear off, spitting partially-chewed bits of sugar-snap peas and Helluvagood ranch dip across the room. Talking and talking and talking, all the while making that gross "I have food in my mouth and insist on smacking it around in order to make as much noise as humanly possible and much it around in such a way that the whole damn world can see" noise.

Grandpa said, "hey, Julia - you're missing the game!" and she said, "I don't give a hoot [I swear to Gott, she said "hoot"] about the game. I took my ears out so I wouldn't have to listen to the game."

Grandpa (in usual Grandpa fashion) said, "what?", his voice dripping sarcasm.

Grandma: I said, I don't care about the game, so I took my hearing aids out...

Grandpa: What?

Grandma: I said I took my ears out, so I --

Grandpa: (beginning to laugh) What?

Grandma: (frantically gesticulating) My hearing aids...I took them out...

Ahh, good times.

Ask me what's happening in my house, now.

That's right - go ahead, ask.

{What's going on in your house, now, O Queen?}

My father is downstairs, swearing about the turkey [it's a clinker!!], my grandfather is in the other room, watching football...we're a Detroit family, you know...*woo* (*cough*...riiight), my grandmother is standing in the kitchen (probably in my mother's way) talking (and talking and talking and talking) while my mother does her best to sound interested. I hate the fact that I have to update, now, when I was just planning to update after dinner, because I didn't think I'd be this ready to jump out a window to get away from these people in my house, yet.

There is a pie sitting about 1 foot away from me, and it looks so very yummy. So very very yummy.

And I need someone to relieve me of this insanity. I have two senile, rude, icky people in the other room, and they're driving me cwazy!!

*Sigh*...I'll be updating, again, later, I'm sure.

"Ben! Move your hand!" "Ben! Put your hand back!"

"Woah....slow down there, big guy!"
(kehehe...Mr. Mathteacher said that...)

Next year, I think I'm going to go away for Thanksgiving. Stratch that, I'll let my parents make dinner, and then I'll lock up all the elders and feast by myself, without having to listen to their incessant chatter.

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